Sunday, September 6, 2020

What to Write in Your Coworker's Holiday Cards

The holiday season is a minefield of holidays to navigate - Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanzaa, and the New Year all in a row! Take one of the short holiday greetings below and change it as needed to fit your own particular needs:
  • Wishing you and your loved ones peace and joy this Christmas 
  • Sending you warm wishes this holiday season 
  • Happy holidays from our home to yours! 
  • May Santa Clause bring many goodies to your home this year
  • We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year!
  • Thinking of you this time of year and wishing you a happy holiday
  • Best wishes to you for a happy holiday and fantastic new year
  • During the holidays I find myself grateful for the gift of your friendship
 
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Monday, August 24, 2015

What to Say and Not Say When Your Co-worker's Pet Dies

It can be difficult to know what to say when a co-worker's pet dies or how much sympathy to express. Here are some tips:
  • Respect her or his loss, it may seem silly to you to get upset over the death of a pet, especially if you have none of your own. Speaking as a pet owner and general animal lover, the loss is very real. For people like us, a pet is a member of the family, sometimes our favorite family member.
  • Don't ever suggest that the bereaved just "get over it" or that he or she go and get a new cat or dog as a replacement. The bereaved may get another pet eventually, but either way he or she needs time to grieve.
  • If you feel comfortable doing so, buy a card for the owner's loss. Here's an example of something you can write:
    • "I'm so sorry for the recent loss of your pet. It's never easy losing a part of your family. My thoughts are with you."
  • Maybe let him or her know you're available to talk about their loss and offer to take him or her out for a cup of coffee, or surprise them with a small treat left at their desk with a small note.
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Monday, May 5, 2014

How to Make Small Talk on The Elevator (or Wherever)


Small talk is conversational filler we all make in order to avoid awkward silence. Knowing how to make small talk is important in maintaining professional relationships and helpful for not coming off as a socially awkward weirdo. 

Unless you are a hermit and avoid all social interaction, you'll need to make small talk on a semi-regular basis. You'll get stuck on a long elevator ride with Sue from Sales or Larry from Accounting, or you'll find yourself with some coworkers waiting for a meeting to start. You might even have to make small talk for an extended period of time if you ever (god forbid) have lunch with these folks.

If you don't know how to make small talk, here are a few tips to start - 

  • The most frequent go-to subject for small talk is the weather. Be it warm and sunny or rainy and gloomy, the weather affects us all. In order for small talk to work, the conversation subject has to be something both people can actually talk about, if only for a little bit.
  • Ask about the person's weekend plans (if you're closer to the weekend), or how their weekend was (if you're closer to the start of the week). It's a great way to find out about someone else's hobbies. Chances are the other person will ask about your weekend. If you have weird hobbies that most people don't share, don't discuss these at length, instead just make up a normal person bullshit activity like "spending time with family" or "spring cleaning". White lies are okay in small talk because small talk inherently doesn't matter, just keep it plain and generic.
  • One easy small talk trick is to pay a compliment to the other person. For example, I have one coworker that spends a lot of money on fancy, elaborate ties, and if I need to kill a few minutes making small talk with him, I just ask him about whatever tie he's got on and it works like magic. Don't give out compliments too often or you risk coming off as fake, a weirdo, or that you're engaging in sexual harassment.
  • A large percent of the human population generally loves talking about themselves, so show a little interest in something the other person cares about. But as with giving compliments, don't go to this well too often or you'll probably come off as creepy.
  • On the subject of things normal people care about, it might be beneficial to know a little bit about sports. You might have to do a little research on this one if you don't follow the sports world.
  • If you and your coworker are both parents, you'll probably have a wealth of similar experiences to draw on for small talk. Ask how their kids are doing and then tell them how yours are. Perhaps you might bond over the common trials and triumphs of parenting, if that's your thing. Leave out the weird creepy shit your kids do if they do weird creepy shit.
  • When in doubt, keep your small talk fairly relatable and the subject matter on the tame, safe side subject-wise. Remember, this is conversational filler. You're job is to get in and get out sounding like a normal person. And yes, "normal people" don't really exist, but this is how you maintain a friendly, average public persona.
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(Photo credit: Grevel / Foter / Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic (CC BY-SA 2.0))

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

What to Say (and Not Say) to a Fired Coworker


When a coworker you consider a friend is fired, it can be very tricky knowing the right thing to say to him or her. Here are a few suggestions:
  • As when trying to comfort someone in most difficult situations, it's best to empathize with the person, expressing how sorry you are and how difficult the situation is for the fired coworker.  Acknowledge his or her feelings and the situation. See if they'd like to go out and have a chat over coffee or lunch.
  • Don't try to make the person feel better by suggesting how the situation "isn't that bad". The person may have a supportive spouse he or she can count on or other job opportunities on the horizon, but in the moment, it sucks to be the person that just got canned.
  • If you aren't that close with the fired coworker (or even if you are), now is the time to determine how supportive you want to be and whether or not you want to have any sort of non-work related relationship with this person. It's great if you chose to offer support and friendship in this person's time of need, but only do it if you mean it. Don’t  be making promises of support you can’t keep, such as if you feel uncomfortable about writing a letter of recommendation for future jobs.
  • You may need to give the fired coworker a little bit of space before offering empathy or help. If he or she just got the news, give the person a little bit of time to process this significant life change before you swoop in to offer condolences, that is unless he or she comes to you directly looking for support.
  • If you aren't at all close with the fired coworker, it might just be best to leave him or her alone. If it seems like you never cared about your colleague before, it may seem insincere to start now. Also, lots of people need space while going through such a potentially difficult time.

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(Photo credit: david_shankbone / Foter / Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic (CC BY 2.0))

Monday, March 24, 2014

What to Write in Your Coworker's Wedding (or Engagement) Card


When thinking of something to write in a wedding or engagement card for your boss or coworker, consider how well you know the person. Is your friendship strictly professional? Are you friends outside of work? If you don't know where you stand with your coworker, it's often best to play it safe - keep it short and sweet. What you write will probably be some variation of the following examples, depending on how sincere/sappy you feel like getting: 
  • Best wishes to you both for a long and happy life together. 
  • Congratulations on your special day, may you have many years of marital bliss.
  • Wishing you heaps of love, joy and laughter together, my congratulations to you both!
  • May you cherish the love you have found in each other for all the rest of your days.
  • My congratulations to two wonderful souls as you begin your lives together in marriage.
  • May you share the the joys of a happy marriage together.
  • My warmest congratulations to you both, wishing you happiness on your wedding day and always.
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Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Six Best Excuses for Being Late to Work


If you are running late for work and need a a good excuse for not being at work on time, some excuses work better than others. A good excuse should - 
  • Be believable.
  • Present the situation as something you could not predict or control.
  • Be something that obviously requires your immediate attention, hence why you're late.
Here are some good examples:
  1. The key broke off in your door as you were leaving for work. You had to call your landlord and make sure you weren't leaving your house unlocked, that's totally unsafe!
  2. You or your neighbors dog escaped out the front door that morning and you had to help catch it. You couldn't just let your poor dog get hit by a car!
  3. You got stuck behind a train on your drive in to work and it was a long-ass train.
  4. Plumbing problems - Your toilet was backed up and overflowing, you had to get that shut off and mopped up before the water did any property damage.
  5. Your hemorrhoids are acting up and your doctor ordered you to take a long warm soak in a saltwater bath. You should be able to make it in after lunch.
  6. Car trouble or bad traffic are classic excuses because they work, but be careful because it can be easy to accidentally overuse these ones.
Generally, the more embarrassing the excuse you are willing to admit to (like hemorrhoids), the better. No one wants to admit to having the worst diarrhea ever, so if you are willing to admit to something most folks would rather not, it helps make you seem more believable. Be careful when using an excuse that could be easily proven with a photo from your phone, like say a popped car tire. A tricky boss might ask you to send them a photo.

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Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Use the Decoy Effect to Influence Your Boss' Decision-Making


Let's say you need to present two different options to someone in a position of authority. Perhaps you need to present two alternate business plans to your boss, or maybe you're trying to get your fiancé to decide between two possible honeymoon locations. 

While you may have your own preference among the options present, there's no guarantee the deciding party will see the situation as you do. 

Is there anything you can do to nudge the decider over to your side? Sometimes yes, via the Decoy effect.

How it works: Let's pretend you are presenting two different business plans (options A & B) to your boss. You believe that option A is the best course of action, but you fear your boss will select option B. Like anyone making a decision, your boss must weigh the upsides and downsides of both options to determine which is the better course of action.

To employ the Decoy effect on your decision-maker in question, you must introduce a third option. Option C will serve as a decoy option and must possess two qualities:
  • It must share a relevant quality with the other two options, but be inferior to both.
  • it must share a second relevant quality with the other options that is inferior to your preferred option (A) but superior to the non-preferred option (B).
Option C will not be a desirable choice because both options A and B are superior to it in some desirable way, yet option C will still be superior to B on some other important aspect. The presence of option C makes option B look worse relative to option A, increasing the likelihood that the decider will ultimately choose option A.

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Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Three Easy Potluck Themes for Your Next Work Party


Most of us can agree that generic potlucks are a safe and fun way of making sure there's enough food to eat at your next work event without having to break the bank. Still, this can get a bit boring sometimes.  

One way to liven things up is to give the meal a theme. This ensures that everyone still contributes to the meal by bringing an item to share, but adds some flavor to the proceedings. 

Here are three examples of easy potluck themes that might work for your next office party:

Sandwich Potluck - Most everyone loves sandwiches, and there's a huge variety of sandwich ingredients people can bring without having to put in too much effort.

What to ask people to bring:
  • Bread (white/whole wheat/sour dough)
  • Sandwich meats (chicken/turkey/ham/salami/roast beef)
  • Cheese (swiss/cheddar/provolone)
  • Veggies (lettuce/pickles/tomatoes/cucumber slices/avocado/onions)
  • Condiments (mayonnaise/hummus/mustard)
To spice things up, bring some bacon for some BLT's. Most of these ingredients are relatively cheap and there's an almost endless variety of sandwiches you can make. Also, there's no cooking involved, a major plus! This theme is also great for summer events.

Salad Potluck - Here's another relatively easy one. You have a couple options here. One is to have everyone make their favorite salad and bring some in to share and the other is to have everyone bring in some salad ingredients, allowing folks to create their own personalized salads from the variety of ingredients provided by their coworkers.

What to ask people to bring:
  • Some leafy veggies (lettuce/spinach/kale)
  • Salad Dressing
  • Veggies (tomatoes/black olives/avocado/sprouts
  • Croutons/bacon bits/other crunchies
  • Some sort of protein to mix in (chicken strips/eggs/tofu/kidney beans)
Mexican Fiesta Potluck - Much like salads and sandwiches, burritos and tacos can be put together without too much cooking know-how. Some of the ingredients may need to be heated up in the microwave, but no actual cooking need be done at work to set up a taco/burrito station for your party.

What to ask people to bring:
  • Tortillas
  • Taco shells
  • Cheese
  • Ground beef
  • Chicken
  • Re-fried or black beans
  • Corn
  • Salsa
  • Tortilla Chips
  • Optional beverage: Horchata
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Monday, December 9, 2013

Coworker/Boss Gift Ideas

Stumped on what to get your coworker or boss for their birthday, Christmas, or some other occasion? You will need to do just a little bit of basic research on the coworker/boss in question in order to find a good gift.
  • Do you know their hobbies, their passions? Is there something you can give the person that both fits your budget and that you can be pretty sure he or she will enjoy? If your boss is into photography, you can't go and buy him a new camera, for example. But if your coworker likes comedy, for example, buy her some tickets to the local comedy club. If your boss is a coffee or tea aficionado, you can probably safely buy him a variety pack of different flavors. Make sure you know a little bit about what you are buying, however, if your boss likes fine wine but you don't know the first thing about buying wine, either get some help from a third party with some knowledge on the subject.
  • Is this coworker passionate about a particular cause or social issue?  Make a small donation to a cause you know he or she will appreciate, such as feeding the hungry or a no-kill animal shelter. Even if she or he doesn't love the gift, they can't show it without looking like a horrible human being that hates charity.
  • Can you make anything? Make them a batch of cookies or brownies.  It doesn't cost too much money but the effort you made will come across and shows that you care.  Anyone can throw money at a problem, but spending your time to make something shows another level of caring.
  • Is this person a complete blank slate of a human being who seems to lack any passion or personality whatsoever? Perhaps the person is very introverted and hard to get to know.  Well, you'll have to go with a safe choice like a gift card.  See if you can get a gift card or certificate for a local restaurant they like to go for lunch.
  • You don't have to spend a ton of money to show that your care.  What's important is to show that you put a little bit of effort and thought into the purchase.
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Thursday, December 5, 2013

What to Write in a Thank You Card for a Job Interview: Tips + Example


So you recently had a job interview, it's a wise idea to send a follow-up thank-you card to show your appreciation and continued interest in the position. But what should you write? Here are the basic points you need to cover in your thank-you note: 

Tips:
  • Express your gratitude at being offered the opportunity to interview for said position.
  • Communicate your continued interest in the position and the opportunity to work in that workplace.
  • Briefly summarize the strengths you bring to the position. Just a few sentences to highlight what you bring to the table.
  • Offer to answer any other questions they may have for you and include your phone number even if they already have it on an application or resume you've already submitted, make it as simple as possible for them so they don't have to go digging through paperwork to get your number.
  • End with another quick and professional thank-you.
  • Keep the wording of your letter both concise yet friendly.
  • Send the letter promptly, within 24 hours of your interview.
Example Letter: 

Dear Mr./Ms. (Last Name):

Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to interview me for the (job type) position open in your department, I am very appreciative for the opportunity.

I believe that my skills and experience make me an excellent fit for this position. I possess a strong attention to detail, learn new tasks easily, and I'm sure that I would make a strong addition to your team.

I am still very interested in this position after discussing the roles and responsibilities it entails, and I believe that they are a good match for my own achievements and aspirations. If you need any additional information, please feel free to call me at your convenience, (555) 555-5555.

Thanks again for your consideration.

Sincerely,
X
 

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Quotes for a Baby Shower Card

Still pressed for what to write in the baby shower card for an expecting parent? Here are some quotes that might be helpful to you:
  • "Making the decision to have a child is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." - Elizabeth Stone
  • "A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on." - Carl Sandburg
  • "The thing that's nice about pregnancy is that in the end, you have a baby." - Ann Romney
  • "I knew it was going to be the most extraordinary thing in my life, but how powerful it is, you can never know until you have a baby." - Celine Dion
  • "Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother." - Oprah Winfrey
  • “Babies are such a nice way to start people.” - Don Herold
  • “It's never the right time to have kids, but it's always the right time for screwing. God's not a dumb shit. He knows how it works.” - Justin Halpern
  • “Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.” - Tina Fey
  • "Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted." - Garrison Keillor

What to Write in a Coworkers Baby Shower Card

Is someone in the office expecting a baby? Chances are that a congratulatory card is making its way around the office. If you aren't sure what to say, here are a couple generic stock phrases you can edit and use to suit the situation - 
  • Congratulations on the new addition to your family! The next few years will be a magical time for you and your family so soak up every little bit of it!
  • Wishing you the very best with the arrival of your new bundle of joy!
  • Sending well wishes to you and your family as you wait for the arrival of your baby.
  • Be sure to bring the little one by the office for a visit sometime, I can't wait to meet your new bundle of joy!
  • I'm so excited for this new addition to your growing family!
  • May you be blessed with a happy, healthy baby and many happy memories to come.
  • Thank you for inviting us to share in the excitement of bringing your precious new child into the world, I am so excited and happy for you both.
Still need some inspiration for what to write?  Check out Quotes for Baby Shower Cards

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Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Inspirational Quotes for a Coworkers Retirement Card

Need a little inspiration for what to write in your coworkers retirement card? Look no further! Check out one of these nuggets of wisdom for a little help:
  • "Retirement, a time to do what you want to do, when you want to do it, where you want to do it, and, how you want to do it." - Catherine Pulsifer 
  • "Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass on a summer day listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is hardly a waste of time." - Sir John Lubbock 
  • "Retirement is a work in progress. I try to figure out my day, and what I know about myself is that I need structure." - Pete Sampras
  • "I enjoyed retirement the right way... linguine con vongole, red wine and plenty of truffle cheese." - Craig Kilborn
  • "If retirement means laying on a beach and rubbing coco butter on your stomach, about 48 hours of that will be enough for most people. You'll want something new." - Timothy Ferriss
  • "I had a very detailed retirement plan, and I feel like I've met every aspect of it: a lot of golf, a lot of carbs, a lot of fried food, and some booze, occasionally - I've been completely committed...The results have shown." - Andy Roddick 
  • "Remember, what does 'retirement' mean? It doesn't mean that you're a couch potato. Leisure is not the same thing as rest. If you're bicycling five miles a day, that's leisure, but it certainly takes a lot of effort." - Robert Fogel 
  • "I tell people retirement isn't what you think. You are going to sit around and waste your life, you can only golf so much. To stay young, you have to stay in the mix." - Ron Rice 
  • “But I'm really enjoying my retirement. I get to sleep in every day. I do crossword puzzles and eat cake.” - Derek Landy
  • "There are so many other interesting ways to spend your time. I feel like early retirement is a gift, but it's such an incredible gift. It's a gift I need to use." -  Martha Felt-Bardon
Need some more ideas of what to write in someone's retirement card? Check out What to Write in a Coworkers Retirement Card

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Quotes for a Coworker's Get Well Card

If someone you know or work with is sick, you don't want to be the only dick that doesn't sign their get well card, but it can be hard to know what to say.  Here are some great quotes that you might use from which to draw some inspiration:
  • “The joy you bring us is so much greater than the sadness we feel about your illness.” - John Green
  • “Good medicine always tastes bad.” - Ron Hall
  • “Sometimes you have to get sicker before you can get better.” - Jeannette Walls
  • “Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice'?” - George Carlin
  • “Looking after a very sick child was the Olympics of parenting.” - Chris Cleave
  • “The body is wiser than its inhabitants. The body is the soul. The body is god’s messenger.” - Erica Jong
  • “When you feel yourself to be in critical condition, you must treat yourself as gently as you would a sick friend.” -  Julia Cameron
  • “If you don't take care of this the most magnificent machine that you will ever be given...where are you going to live?” - Karyn Calabrese
  • “For a while" is a phrase whose length can't be measured. At least by the person who's waiting.” - Haruki Murakami
Need a few more ideas to get your feelings across? Check out What to Write in a Coworkers Get Well Card - Examples and Tips

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Clever Birthday Card Quotes for You to Use


Not quite sure what to write in someone's birthday card? Maybe a clever quote is what you need!  I've collected a few of my favorites her for you to try out for yourselves -
  • "A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age." - Robert Frost
  • "The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate." - Oprah Winfrey
  • "Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional." - Chili Davis
  • "Whatever with the past has gone, the best is always yet to come." - Lucy Larcom
  • "The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age." - Johnny Carson
  • "The only consolation you get for aging another year is knowing that everyone else you know is getting older too." - Blake Flannery
  • "Live long and prosper" - Mr. Spock from Star Trek
  • "Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter." - Mark Twain
Need some more ideas of what to write in someone's birthday card?  Check out What to Write in a Coworkers Birthday Card

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Grief/Mourning Quotes for a Coworker's Sympathy Card

While using our own words to express our sympathies are often meaningful because they come right from the heart, sometimes it is useful to use the words of someone else to express a certain feeling on the subject of loss.  Here are a few that I'm particularly fond of - 
  • “Memory nourishes the heart, and grief abates.” - Marcel Proust
  • "The dark today leads into light tomorrow; There is no endless joy, and yet no endless sorrow." - Ella Wheeler Wilcox
  • “Earth hath no sorrow that Heaven cannot heal.” -Thomas Moore
  • “I will not say, do not weep, for not all tears are an evil.” - J.R.R. Tolkien
  • “Though lovers be lost, love shall not; And death shall have no dominion.” - Dylan Thomas
  • “We all live with our losses. We don't want to, but we can” - Carrie Jones
  • “We carry the dead with us only until we die too, and then it is we who are borne along for a little while, and then our bearers in their turn drop, and so on into the unimaginable generations.” - John Banville
  • “The darker the night, the brighter the stars, the deeper the grief, the closer is God!” - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
  • “Life Lesson 3: You can't rush grief. It has its own timetable. All you can do is make sure there are lots of soft places around - beds, pillows, arms, laps.” - Patti Davis
Need a few more ideas to get your feelings across? Check out 

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Monday, November 4, 2013

Download Lost and Found Log Template (Excel and PDF Format)

Is your workplace the kind of place where people tend to lose stuff?  Keep track of it with this handy dandy lost and found item tracking log.

Excel File Download Link: 
http://www.filedropper.com/lostandfounditemlogtemplate

PDF File Download Template: 

Excel Template Preview:




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Sunday, August 18, 2013

What to Write in a Going Away/Farewell Card - Examples and Tips

People leave the workplace for all kinds of reasons.  Among the more positive of these reasons is a promotion or the acceptance of a new position elsewhere.  So if the circumstances of his or her departure are positive, here are some messages you can use and change for your own purposes:
  • Congratulations on your promotion! You will be missed around these parts, please remember to visit.
  • I heard you are leaving us for greener pastures.  I wish you the best on your new work adventure!
  • Good luck on your new job, I'm sure you'll be just as much an asset there as you were here!
  • Best wishes for the future and the path that lies ahead of you!
  • It's been a fantastic experience working beside you and I'm sad to see you leave, but I'm happy to know you have a bright future ahead of you.

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